Movie Review: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Starring Shia LeBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey
Written by Ehren Kruger
Directed by Michael Bay

Story: The evil Decepticons hatch a plan to take over the world and enslave the human race, and mankind's only hope is the Autobots. Plus some stupid shit involving some asshole and a supermodel.

Review: The opening shot after the title screen is 30 seconds of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's ass. Not kidding. I haven't heard as many people snicker and laugh at the ridiculousness of a movie since the cliff jump in Fast Five. If you're expecting a reinvention of the series, you'll be sadly disappointed. But if you're hoping for a return to the level of goodness that the first Transformers was, then you should be pretty happy. The human characters are terrible again. Shia is bad, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a short step to the side of Megan Fox, and Patrick Dempsey is an awful nemesis for Shia. This should come as no shock to anyone, so you only have yourself to blame if you expected an improvement from the actors. However, the action sequences are excellent, and the storyline is straightforward and easy to follow. Instead of humans being stuck in the middle of a battle between the Decepticons and the Autobots, this is an alien invasion story. The Decepticons want to enslave the human race so they can rebuild their homeworld. (And it would have worked, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.) How they plan accomplishing this sets up a nice showdown in Chicago. And they fuck that city up!!! By far the best action sequence in the series and it lasts for about an hour. Pretty much, what I'm trying to say is, "If you like seeing shit blowing up, then you should enjoy it."

Comparable Movies: It's a lot like Independence Day or Battle Los Angeles with robots instead of aliens.

Rating: *** 1/2

It's the best of the series, but if you didn't enjoy the first, then you won't enjoy this.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD