Movie Reviews: The Big Year, The Thing, The Way, Footloose, Johnny English Reborn, The Three Musketeers, Anonymous

I thought I'd be a little better about doing these reviews with more regularity, but when the best of the bunch might be Johnny English Reborn it doesn't make you want to think about them any more. Anyway, let's get this out of the way.

The Big Year
We talked about this on the PGP Filmcast, and we all agreed that the preview doesn't mention bird watching at all. And that is all this movie is about, nothing else. Apparently bird watchers (should that be capitalized?) can compete in a Big Year, which is attempting to see as many different species of birds possible in a single year. I DON'T CARE!!!! Jack Black, Steve Martin, and Owen Wilson weren't able to bring anything to the paper thin characters, and the story is bland and clichéd. Maybe bird watchers will enjoy it.

* 1/2 out of 5

The Thing
Is it a sequel or a prequel? The setting is a prequel, but everything that happens is so similar to the John Carpenter version that it might as well be a sequel. If it was an original movie I might have been impressed, but it's not. I say just go watch the original. It's not Netflix right now.

** out of 5

The Way
It's about a guy walking down a road. 'Nuff said.

* out of 5

Footloose
It's an updated version of the original. The dancing is better and the people are more attractive. But it will never capture that 80's magic that was the original.

** out of 5

Johnny English Reborn
I never saw the original, so I'm not sure if I missed anything in the sequel. I'm pretty sure I didn't. There's a few funny gags, but it usually resorts to kicking people in the nuts repeatedly for jokes. I like Rowan Atkinson and he is the only saving grace for this movie.

** out of 5

Anonymous
I'm an unashamed Roland Emmerich fan. I didn't have high hopes for Anonymous, but was curious to see an Emmerich movie where the Earth was not in peril. Basically take a JFK conspiracy type story and set it in 16th century England. It has many flaws, but it kept me entertained. Who doesn't like a good conspiracy theory? This one has some gaping holes, but who cares. It's a movie. I read some scathing reviews after I saw it, and couldn't help but think that if this had been directed by anyone else it would have been praised. The costumes, sets, and special effects were just as good as other period films. The critics all pretty much say Roland Emmerich is a hack director that only does trashy end of the world movies. Leave the real drama to the experts. Now I'm not saying this is a great movie. Not even a good movie. The acting is about on par with Independence Day, and all the timeline jumping is a little confusing. But it's not a terrible movie.

** 1/2 out of 5


May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Reviews: Abduction, Killer Elite, Real Steel, The Ides of March, 50/50

So much for getting back on track with individual movie reviews. Honestly, Abduction kind of killed my interest in movies for a bit, but The Ides of March and 50/50 gave me hope that the world will go on.

Abduction
So terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible!!! I never saw the Twilight movies, but judging from the previews I figured Taylor Lautner was a bad actor. Nothing could have prepared me for how truly untalented he is though. I felt bad for him in a way. You could see Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina and other actors just looking at him like he was an alien and how did he get a leading role in a movie. I'm sure I don't have to tell most of you to avoid this movie like the plague.

0 out of 5

Killer Elite
I was pleasantly surprised by this one. It has a good cast, storyline, and action sequences.

*** 1/2 out of 5

Real Steel
Did you see Over the Top? Pretty much the same movie, but with boxing robots. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it, and the Rocky IV shot for shot remake for the final fight scene was humorous. The acting was mediocre, as expected(not Abduction bad, but pretty bad), and the story was predictable and sappy.

** out of 5

The Ides of March
Fantastic cast more than makes up for this slow moving political drama. Ryan Gosling is definitely the best actor of the year.

**** out of 5

50/50
A buddy flick about a guy diagnosed with cancer. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is good in the lead role and Seth Rogen plays himself as his best friend. Anjelica Huston was great as his over bearing mother. It's basically a Lifetime movie, but with better writers and actors.

*** 1/2 out of 5

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Moneyball

Moneyball

Starring Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Philip Seymour Hoffman

Directed by Bennett Miller

Story

Billy Beane changes the way he puts together a team as the GM of the Oakland Athletics with much success. At least until they run into the Twins in the postseason.

Review

This story would make a great documentary on ESPN, but it makes for a slow moving movie. The main character sits in his office most of the time, and the rest of the time he is driving and talking on the phone in his truck. He has a few flashbacks to his playing days that nobody cares about. Really the more interesting character is played by Jonah Hill, but if they focused on him it would kind of kill the movie, since there is no Peter Brand. There's another couple things about the movie really bugged me though. The song that his daughter plays for him was released in 2009 by Lenka. The movie takes place in 2002. Then the final out in the Divisional series, was a popout to Denny Hocking, not Corey Koskie, and Denny Hocking got injured while celebrating. It was a day game, not a night game.

Comparable Movies

I can't think of any comparable movies to compare this to. Who really wants to see a movie about front office guys. Show some baseball in your baseball movie.

Rating

** out of 5

One thing that wasn't mentioned at all in the movie was how good they were at finding and developing starting pitching. That was the real reason Oakland was so good back then.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

PS - The reason this approach never won a championship for Oakland is because taking walks works against below average pitchers. During the regular season they faced plenty of crappy pitchers and won, but when the postseason came and the pitchers were all good they lost. The good pitchers didn't walk them, and they couldn't get on base as consistently.

Movie Review Ketchup

Hi everybody,

I’m sorry I haven’t been updating my movie reviews the last 2 months. I haven’t had the time, and I went on vacation in the middle of August. So, this post is to just get caught up and give a little blurb and a rating for the last 16 movies I saw.

Cowboys and Aliens - ** ½ - A mash-up of two different genres. It was a good idea, but the aliens are never on screen so there is no real antagonist.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - *** ½ - It’s a solid prequel to the original. Has a high rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but I think it was only average. Not a great movie.

The Change-Up - ** - The best parts are in the trailer, and everything works out in the end. Trust me, I didn’t ruin anything for you. A little more raunchy than I was expecting though.

The Help - *** - An average civil rights movie. I hope the book is better.

30 Minutes or Less - **** - Funny cast, and an interesting premise makes a good movie.

Fright Night - **** - I like the original, but the sequel lives up to it. David Tennant was excellent.

Conan the Barbarian - * ½ - A couple decent fight sequences, but some awful acting and a confusing story kill this attempt at a reboot.

Colombiana - *** - A decent copy of The Professional. I would say Hanna is a better movie though.

Our Idiot Brother - ** - An indie comedy in the same vein as Little Miss Sunshine. A few funny lines, but overall a big cliché.

The Debt - **** - Casts don’t get much better than this one. A well acted and directed movie with an interesting story.

Attack the Block - ***** - One of my favorite movies of the year so far. Hilarious, and some good scifi action as well.

Contagion - *** ½ - It would make a great double feature with Outbreak. With so many characters it loses focus, and you forget about them before they make it back to their storyline.

Apollo 18 - * - Such a great premise, but so poorly done.

Warrior - *** - It’s kind of like The Fighter, but not based on a true story.

Drive - ***** - Ryan Gosling is the best actor of the year. This might be the best movie of the year, but still a little too early to tell.

Straw Dogs - ** - A movie where the amount of violence is supposed to hit you hard. But seeing it just after Drive makes it seem pretty weak.

Again sorry about the delay.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

NFL Preview

I'm doing something other than a movie post. Hope the football fans that read this enjoy it.

AFC North

Baltimore – The Ravens should win the division in a two team race. They have a cupcake schedule facing the NFC West and the AFC South. The Texans are the only team in those two divisions that match up talent wise with the Ravens. I’m not a Joe Flacco fan, but the defense and run game should win most of their games. However, when they run into elite QB’s I think they’ll come up short, because Flacco can’t keep up with Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger, and Philip Rivers. Regular season champs, but post-season duds.

Pittsburgh – The Steelers have not made the playoffs following the Super Bowl the last three times they represented the AFC. That should change this year with a favorable schedule and returning most starters for the AFC champ. I do think the team is getting old, and the defense could go downhill quickly if Polamalu or James Harrison get hurt or regress. They should have another year of good play, though, and can make another Super Bowl run.

Cleveland – How well the Browns do will depend on how Colt McCoy develops as the team’s QB. They’re one of the eight teams with a new head coach, and one of the four with brand new schemes on both offense and defense. I expect a slow start and if McCoy is improved a decent second half of the season. This team is still a couple year’s, and a couple receivers, away from competing for the division title.

Cincinnati – The Bengals might be the worse run organizations in all of professional sports in a competitive sense. (They are one of the most profitable team in the NFL. Almost $50 million in profits last year.) They have no QB, an average RB, and no WR’s. The defense have a couple of good CB’s, but the team will be behind so often that they will be seeing more running plays than pass plays.

AFC South

Houston – The Texans have one of the best offenses in the NFL, but had one of the worst defenses. Wade Phillips is a great coordinator, but I don’t think they have the talent to make a quick turnaround. But the Texans are the only team in the division that will finish over .500.

Tennessee – 7-9 will be enough for the Titans to finish second in the division. Matt Hasselbeck will be an upgrade over Kerry Collins, and they still have Chris Johnson in the backfield. They have a lot of talent in their secondary and expect the defense to get back to respectability.

Indianapolis – Peyton Manning is the Colts. If he doesn’t play the team won’t win. I’m not a doctor, but his injury sounds too serious to expect anything from him this season. Might get a top five pick in the draft if he doesn’t play at all.

Jacksonville – The Jaguars just released the only QB they had. Not a good idea. McCown isn’t any good, and Blaine Gabbert isn’t ready to start. Maurice Jones-Drew isn’t healthy, and their top wideout is best suited for the slot receiver position, not as a starter. The defense is average at best. Everyone knows that the coach, Jack Del Rio, is on the way out, and the owners are trying to make as much money as they can. ($30 under the cap.)

AFC East

New York – This is the year the Jets finally overtake the Pats in the East. It’s Sanchez’s third year and if he is going to be a good QB this is the year. They have a strong offensive line, a good running game, and one of the best defenses in the NFL. The only thing that will keep them out of the postseason is Mark Sanchez.

New England – The Patriots defense is not as good as people think. They wouldn’t be bringing in a head case like Albert Haynesworth if they weren’t desperate for some pass rush. Also, the pass defense last year was in the bottom quarter of the league. You can’t expect Brady to throw 36 TD’s and only 4 picks again. A regression is coming.

Buffalo – The Bills are starting to turn their team around. The offense is getting better and the defense is switching back to a 4-3 which suits their players much better. Ryan Fitzpatrick will throw for plenty of yards, but they’ll need a better QB before they make a postseason run.

Miami – The Dolphins made a mistake when they let both Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown go via free agency. They have one of the best offensive lines in the league, but they don’t have a RB to take advantage of it. Chad Henne is mediocre and won’t get the ball to Brandon Marshall enough. The defense is average and will keep them in some games, but they won’t be able to score enough points to win.

AFC West

San Diego – The Chargers passing offense is the best in the AFC. Philip Rivers is a top 3 QB, Antonio Gates is a top 3 TE, and Vincent Jackson is a top 10 WR. Last year they ranked number one in yardage on both defense and offense, but they’re special teams and untimely turnovers ruined their season. They were unlucky last year and I expect them to bounce back this year.

Nnamdi Asomugha will take away the edge they had over the Chargers and will finish second place again.

Denver – The Broncos almost went into full rebuild mode this offseason when they attempted to trade Kyle Orton and install Tim Tebow as the starting QB. They kept Orton and will be a bit better than terrible. The new coach, John Fox, will improve the defense right away, and they have two great pass rushers in Elvis Dumervil and rookie Von Miller.

Kansas City – The Chiefs are going to implode this year. Jamaal Charles will be overused, the passing offense will decline after losing coordinator Charlie Weis, and the coach, Todd Haley, is a spaz. Last place and a top five pick is coming.

NFC North

Green Bay – The Packers are the second youngest team in the NFL and reigning Super Bowl champs. I’m hoping it’s the beginning of a dynasty. Like the Chargers, they have a top 3 QB, a top 3 TE, and a top 10 WR. They also have a top 5 defense, including the best pass defense in the NFL. A Super Bowl repeat is definitely possible.

Detroit – The Lions are improving, but are still a year away from the playoffs. They need an offensive lineman or two, and two new cornerbacks. However, they have one of the best defensive lines, and excellent skill position players.

Chicago – The Bears will come back to earth this year. The defense is getting old and won’t be able to stay as healthy as they were last year. Jay Cutler is the new Jeff George. Talented, but not a winner. The offensive line is bottom 5 in the league, but Matt Forte is a top 10 RB.

Minnesota – The Vikings are at the end of the line, and should begin rebuilding right away. Even if everything clicks for the Vikings the best they will do is a wild card and a first round playoff loss.

NFC South

New Orleans – The Saints will win this division easily. No defense in this division will be able to handle their offense, and their defense is good enough to hold the Falcons and Bucs offenses in check. It may be a preview of the NFC title game on opening night when they face the Packers.

Atlanta – The Falcons added a first round receiver in Julio Jones, but nothing to improve their terrible pass defense. Just like the Patriots, they won’t be able to generate a pass rush, and the secondary is bottom third in the league.

Tampa Bay – The Buccaneers look good on paper, but I think they will finish under .500 this year. They had a ridiculously easy schedule last year and will not sneak up on anybody this year.

Carolina – The Panthers are clearly a team rebuilding. If they get their running game going again with DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart they have a chance at winning a few games.

NFC East

Dallas – The Cowboys were the biggest underachievers in the league last year. They were supposed to run away with the division, and were terrible until Wade Phillips was fired. Rob Ryan will improve the defense and having Tony Romo back will put the offense back on track again.

Philadelphia – The Eagles are the most hyped team in the NFL this year. However, the offensive line and run defense will keep them from making it to the promised land. I also have a deep hatred for dog killers.

New York – The Giants were hit harder by injuries in the preseason than any other team. They were set to compete for the division, but with the injuries leaving some gaping holes in their secondary they will be closer to average.

Washington – The Redskins will never figure it out. You can’t buy a championship and a big name head coach won’t either. Mike Shanahan was fortunate enough to have a hall of fame QB and a hall of fame RB lead him to two Super Bowls. He might be out of a job after this year.

NFC West

Arizona – The Cardinals are the best of the worst division in football. They might finish 8-8 and win this division. Larry Fitzgerald will put up better numbers with Kolb throwing the ball to him, and if Beanie Wells stays healthy they should have a decent run game.

St. Louis – The Rams are getting closer to being a playoff team. Sam Bradford looks okay, but needs to start completing passes down the field more often. They have a good RB in Steven Jackson, and an improving defense. Could be a playoff team next year.

San Francisco – The 49ers might have finished ahead of the Rams if they had a full offseason to install their new offensive and defensive schemes. However, that didn’t happen, and they won’t start playing well until the second half of the season.

Seattle – You can’t go into a season with Tavaris Jackson as your starting QB. The Seahawks haven’t realized this yet. They will about 5 minutes into the first game. There was a reason the Vikings wanted Favre back last year. It was seeing T-Jack in practice that did it.

Playoffs AFC

Wild Card Round – Jets over Patriots, Texans over Steelers

Divisional Round – Chargers over Texans, Jets over Ravens

AFC Championship – Chargers over Jets

Playoffs NFC

Wild Card Round – Cowboys over Falcons, Eagles over Cardinals

Divisional Round – Packers over Eagles, Saints over Cowboys

NFC Championship – Packers over Saints

Super Bowl – Packers over Chargers

Well, that’s my little NFL preview. Hope you enjoyed it.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

Movie Reviews: Horrible Bosses, HP7-2, Captain America, Zookeeper, Friends w/ Benefits, Crazy Stupid Love

I've been keeping up on my movies, but not on my reviews. Sorry.

Horrible Bosses - **** out of 5 - I'm a sucker for low brow comedies. Jason Sudeikis, Jamie Foxx, and Colin Farrell are all hilarious, and Charlie Day, Jason Bateman, and Jennifer Aniston give good performances, too. Nice to see John Francis Daley (Freaks and Geeks) still getting some work.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - **** 1/2 - A much more action packed movie than Part 1. By this point you should know if you like Harry Potter or not. As you can see from my rating, I'm a fan.

Captain America: The First Avenger - *** 1/2 - I've been waiting for a movie where Chris Evans really stands out. He's given some good performances in some pretty shitty movies (Fantastic Four, The Losers, Push). But now he has a solid supporting cast and a good story. I really hope The Avengers movie kicks ass.

The Zookeeper - * - The only thing more incredulous than talking animals is Leslie Bibb dating Kevin James. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but she's playing a materialistic bitch and she falls for him. Sure. Also, don't cast Sly for voice over rolls. It's hard enough understanding him when you can see his lips moving.

Friends With Benefits - * - I'll refer to my review of No Strings Attached. Shit sandwich.

Crazy, Stupid, Love. - ** - It's getting pretty cliché for romantic comedies to make fun of clichés and then use those same clichés in their own movie. But it's not a cliché in their movie since they pointed it out. I wish filmmakers would quit putting in middle schoolers as the voice of reason in rom coms. It's a new cliché and it's already old. Ryan Gosling is good and some funny lines, but save your money and your time.




Sorry again for not keeping up on the blog. It's been a busy summer.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Larry Crowne

Larry Crowne
Starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts
Written by Tom Hanks and Nia Vardalos
Directed by Tom Hanks

Story: Larry Crowne is fired from his shit job at U-Mart, because he never went to college. He goes back to school, so he can find a new job.

Review: I really don't want to write a review for this. Watch the preview and you have probably guessed how this god awful pile of shit ends. It's pretty bad all the way through, but the jump off point was when his former boss ends up delivering pizza to him later in the movie. Not only is this a horrible clichéd storyline, but he ordered two 16" pizzas, two sides and had it delivered for $16.50. BULLSHIT! Then to top it off he was only going to tip a buck and change. What an asshole. At least Julia Roberts tips well to her pizza guy, but he is a total loser that blows his load on her doorstep.

Comparable Movies: My Big Fat Greek Wedding comes to mind, because of Nia Vardalos. It's another feel good movie that I couldn't stand.

Rating: * out of 5

If you do end up seeing this, be ready to here the word "spectacular" about thirty or forty times.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Starring Shia LeBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey
Written by Ehren Kruger
Directed by Michael Bay

Story: The evil Decepticons hatch a plan to take over the world and enslave the human race, and mankind's only hope is the Autobots. Plus some stupid shit involving some asshole and a supermodel.

Review: The opening shot after the title screen is 30 seconds of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's ass. Not kidding. I haven't heard as many people snicker and laugh at the ridiculousness of a movie since the cliff jump in Fast Five. If you're expecting a reinvention of the series, you'll be sadly disappointed. But if you're hoping for a return to the level of goodness that the first Transformers was, then you should be pretty happy. The human characters are terrible again. Shia is bad, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a short step to the side of Megan Fox, and Patrick Dempsey is an awful nemesis for Shia. This should come as no shock to anyone, so you only have yourself to blame if you expected an improvement from the actors. However, the action sequences are excellent, and the storyline is straightforward and easy to follow. Instead of humans being stuck in the middle of a battle between the Decepticons and the Autobots, this is an alien invasion story. The Decepticons want to enslave the human race so they can rebuild their homeworld. (And it would have worked, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.) How they plan accomplishing this sets up a nice showdown in Chicago. And they fuck that city up!!! By far the best action sequence in the series and it lasts for about an hour. Pretty much, what I'm trying to say is, "If you like seeing shit blowing up, then you should enjoy it."

Comparable Movies: It's a lot like Independence Day or Battle Los Angeles with robots instead of aliens.

Rating: *** 1/2

It's the best of the series, but if you didn't enjoy the first, then you won't enjoy this.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Reviews: Bad Teacher, Cars 2, and Kung Fu Panda 2

Bad Teacher
Starring Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, Lucy Punch
Written by Gene Stupnitsky, Lee Eisenberg
Directed by Jake Kasdan

Story: A gold digging, shallow, foul mouthed teacher tries to raise money for a boob job, so she can catch the eye of a wealthy substitute teacher.

Review: Remember how Bad Santa was really crass and funny? Well, Bad Teacher was really crass. Apart from a few funny gags (dry humping being the highlight), there's no reason to see this movie.

Comparable Movies: Role Models or any other movie where an immature adult grows up after being forced to watch over children.

Rating: **

Not the worst movie ever, but still below average.

Cars 2
Starring Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy
Written by Ben Queen
Directed by John Lasseter

Story: Tow Mater gets caught up in a international conspiracy to take over the world's oil market by Lemons (Hugos, Gremlins, and other crappy cars.)

Review: I know Cars was one of the most successful franchises that Pixar has made, but I'm not a big fan of the first movie. I hate Larry the Cable Guy, and he is the main character for most of the movie. Cars 2 has a lot more cliches than most of the Pixar films, and the plot is very formulaic. Compared to other 3D animated movies that come out it is okay, but a definite miss for Pixar.

Comparable Movies: Pretty standard animation fare. Be yourself and don't worry about what the world thinks of you. Shrek with cars.

Rating: ** 1/2

If you like Larry the Cable Guy, or really like Tow Mater from the first Cars, you'll like this one.

Kung Fu Panda 2
Starring Jack Black
Written by Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger
Directed by Jennifer Yuh

Story: Po must save China and Kung Fu from an evil warlord who has discovered the use of gun powder.

Review: A sequel that lives up to the first film. Although Kung Fu Panda is only a good movie, the sequel brings back all the characters and has a good, fast moving storyline. The animation is excellent, the voice acting is good, and the action sequences are over the top and fun.

Comparable Movies: Very similar to the first film. Like it's almost the same movie.

Rating: *** 1/2

Over the last year and a half I would say Dreamworks Animation has been better than Pixar.


That's it for today kiddies. Should have a review of Transformers 3 by the weekend.

May the Force be with you,


CHUD

Movie Review: Green Lantern

Green Lantern
Directed by Martin Campbell
Written by Greg Berlanti, Michael Green, Marc Guggenheim, Michael Goldenberg
Starring Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard

Story: Hal Jordan is the first human selected to join the Green Lantern Core. His first mission is to stop the evil Parallax from destroying Earth.

Review: I think Green Lantern works as a comic book series, and would work as a television show, but not a two hour movie. It's an epic story that spans the entire universe. Cramming that much exposition into a summer blockbuster is an impossible task. I can see why they had four different writers. Nobody could make this work. It has no focus. Just like this blog. It introduces backstories that are pointless, romances that nobody cares about, and a big bad guy lifted from The Fifth Element. This movie was doomed before the cameras started rolling. There are some fun action sequences and some of the unexplored storylines would work better if they were given a proper amount of screen time.

Comparable Movies: More of a Superman, the world is going to end, type of superhero movie. Rather than a smaller, save the city type.

Rating: ** out of 5

If you're into superhero movies, you probably already saw it. If not, don't.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Reviews: The Last Six

Sorry I haven't been posting my reviews for the last handful of movies. I've been pretty busy, and haven't had the time to waste here on the blog.

Here's some mini reviews of the movies I've recently seen.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Jack Sparrow is a great character, but even he cannot do it alone. The problem with the second and third Pirates movies wasn't with the characters, but with the convoluted script. Two and three had the same characters, but got too ambitious with the story. While Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner were generic and not all that interesting, it did give Jack someone to play off of. In On Stranger Tides, Jack Sparrow has to play the comic relief and the hero. Johnny Depp is an excellent actor, but its to much to ask of one character. And again, too ambitious and convoluted.  ** 1/2

Water For Elephants - I'm sure the book was fine, but the movie was mediocre. It's hard for film to show the passage of time like a book can, and I think that's what's wrong with the movie. One second Jacob is a stowaway and the next second he has the fate of the circus riding on his shoulders. Everything felt rushed, and the relationships were forced together. Now, if the acting talent was a bit better, it could have covered up some of this. But Robert Pattinson is not up to the task to do anything other than look sleepy, and  Reese Witherspoon does nothing special here. But Christoph Waltz was amazing as the abusive leader of the circus, August. Quentin Tarantino deserves a lot of credit for introducing him to American audiences in Inglorious Basterds. **

Priest - A pretty unoriginal dystopian sci-fi movie. Think Judge Dredd meets Underworld. The Catholic church creates a group of super soldiers, Priests, to subdue the vampire menace taking over the world. After defeating the vamps, the Priests are discarded to monotonous day jobs while the Church rules 1984 style. Years later, the daughter of the leader of the Priests is taken by a new kind of vampire, a human turned vamp. The Priest takes action against the wishes of the Church, who think it is all a hoax. It has a few actors I like (Paul Bettany, Karl Urban) and one I absolutely hate (Cam Gigandet). But none of them have anything to do, because the director is a special effects guy. When has that ever worked? *

X-Men: First Class - After destroying the numeral series with X-Men 3: The Last Stand, the origin story of Professor X's school for the gifted is told. Bryan Singer is back as a producer, and I could see his fingerprints all over this movie. Feels much more like the first two films. James McAvoy is fantastic as a walking Professor X, with a full head of hair. When he fits the role, McAvoy is brilliant. Michael Fassbender steals the movie though. His Magneto is so conflicted, and you can see how he evolves into the leader of the Brotherhood in the original movies. Fassbender makes him so sympathetic that you want to see him win. However, the supporting characters are pretty forgettable, and the villain played by Kevin Bacon is nothing special either. But nobody is so terrible that they distract from the two leads. *****

The Hangover Part II - Take the same cast and the same story and set it in Bangkok. Some good one-liners, but pretty disappointing overall. **1/2

Super 8 - I really like JJ Abrams, so my expectations were extremely high. Super 8 delivered, but not to my unfair expectations. The problem was that this movie should have been made thirty years ago. Making it now just feels like a remake of an old classic. There are winks and homages galore. But not a lot of originality. The casting for the kids was great, and Kyle Chandler was a solid choice. There's not as much effects work as I thought there would be, but the train accident is huge and goes on forever. I was hoping for the best movie of the year, but instead got a solid pick for the top ten or fifteen. **** 1/2

Midnight In Paris - I should have known better. I've never been a Woody Allen fan. I like a few of his movies, but for the most part, I hate him. If you like him, enjoy it. If you don't, skip it. This won't convert any non-believers. **

Again, sorry for the absence. Enjoy your summer movie watching, and I'll try to post my reviews a little quicker.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Reviews: Bridesmaids, Something Borrowed

Bridesmaids
Starring Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Melissa McCarthy, Rose Byrne
Written by Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo
Directed by Paul Feig

Story: Annie's best friend, Lillian, is getting married, and asks Annie to be her Maid of Honor. However, Lillian's new friend, Helen, feels she is better suited for the job.

Review: I had high hopes going in, because I liked the director and producer. (Judd Apatow and Paul Feig created Freaks and Geeks together.) But I don't really like Kristen Wiig on SNL, and it seemed like she had a lot of input on the making of Bridesmaids. After seeing it, I think Wiig might be better suited to the big screen rather than the small. Her timing and mannerisms don't seem so off when she has a three dimensional character to work with instead of a five minute sketch. She's in every scene and carries the movie well. Even the romance between her and a highway patrolman is funny and well played. The supporting characters are all excellent, especially Melissa McCarthy as Lillian's future sister-in-law, Megan. She nearly steals every scene she's in, and remember to stay for the beginning part of the credits to see the Hungry Bear.

Comparable Movies: The Hangover is the easiest one to compare, but I think it has more in common with The 40 Year Old Virgin.

Rating: **** 1/2 out of 5

Great romantic comedy, and not just for girls.





Somthing Borrowed
Starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, John Krasinski, Colin Egglesfield
Written by Jennie Snyder
Directed by Luke Greenfield

Story: Rachel has an affair with her childhood friend's fiancee, Dex. But it's not so bad because they had crushes on each other in college, but never hooked up until 2 months before his wedding.

Review: Just an awful, awful, awful movie. Not one good thing to say about this one. It's supposed to be a comedy, but I didn't laugh once. It's supposed to have some drama and romance, but I hated everyone in it. I thought I had seen the worst movie of the year when I saw Drive Angry 3D, but Something Borrowed now has taken the lead. If you have a date or want to see a good romantic comedy, go see Bridesmaids. It's better in every way.

Comparable Movies: Love, Actually. The Proposal. Any romantic comedy that made you want to put out your eyes.

Rating: 0 out of 5

BARF!

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

Movie Review: Thor

Thor
Starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins
Written by Ashley Miller, Zack Stentz, Don Payne
Directed by Kenneth Branagh

Story: Thor, the God of Thunder, is exiled to Earth by his Father, Odin. There he meets an astrophysicist and must prove he is worthy to carry the Hammer of Thor.

Review: Chris Hemsworth is the reason to see this movie. He is excellent in every scene, and makes a pompous, brash, and arrogant character likable. He really does carry the entire movie on his back. Natalie Portman is acting like she did in Star Wars, Kat Dennings is annoying as her sidekick, and Thor's bros in arms are just boring. But Anthony Hopkins and Stellan Skaarsgard do good work. The action scenes are few and far between, and most of it is CG. I'm ragging on this a little bit too much, but I did like it a lot. When the best part of your movie is the lead character that's in every scene I can look past some wooden acting from the supporting cast. It's just that with a few better performances and some more character back story this could have been great.

Comparable Movies: This fits right in with the Marvel Universe movies (Iron Man, Hulk). So if you like those, you'll probably enjoy this, too.

Rating: *** 1/2 out of 5

I saw it in 2D, so maybe I was missing out on some of the 3D coolness.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Preview of May Movies

Yay! Summer movie season is here! Rejoice!

May 6th
Thor - Kenneth Branagh wouldn't be my first choice for a comic book, action movie, but early reviews have been positive. I really like how all of the Marvel Universe movies are intertwined.

Something Borrowed - Maybe, maybe not. It really depends on if I'm still on pace for 100 movies. Looks pretty terrible though.

Jumping the Broom - See above.

May 13th
Bridesmaids - The Hangover: Bachelorette Party Edition.

Priest - Silly vampire hunter movie. I get to see Paul Bettany channel his inner Buffy and kill some vamps. Sounds like fun.

May 20th
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - I doubt they'll recapture the energy and fun of the first movie, but hopefully a bit closer then the first two sequels.

May 27th
The Hangover Part II - Hopefully they have some new material for the sequel and not just a rehash of the first movie. From the previews, I'm not optimistic. Will still be funny, but not as a great as the first.

Kung Fu Panda 2 - The first was good, but with Dreamworks I'll always be wary after Shrek 2.


Not a lot of movies, so I'll probably have to see some awful shit to keep pace. But I love the summer tent poles. The Wolf Pack is back! Kick Ass!

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

Movie Review: Scream 4

Scream 4
Starring Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courteney Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere, Rory Culkin
Written by Kevin Williamson
Directed by Wes Craven

Story: That crazy Ghostface shows up again to kill attractive high schoolers and Neve Campbell.

Review: Scream was my favorite horror movie when I was growing up, and was the first horror movie I saw in the theater, so I have a soft spot for the series. There's a lot less tongue-in-cheek humor in Scream 4 than in the third movie, which is a welcome return to normal. Scream 3 was almost a parody of the first two movies, but Scream 4 is a true sequel to the first two movies. Neve Campbell, David Arquette and Courteney Cox reprise their roles and give respectable performances. The new cast members (Panettiere, Roberts, Culkin) do a nice job too. But I really liked Erik Knudsen as the horror film geek/blogger Robbie Mercer. He basically takes the Jamie Kennedy role from the first three films, and explains the rules for the new movie. Scream 4 feels a little bit rushed in its pacing. There's too many characters introduced and I didn't feel any emotional attachment to any of the characters that are sliced an diced. I think the series needs to leave the original cast behind and introduce a completely new cast for Ghostface to terrorize. After reintroducing the original guys and gals there's not enough screentime left to show the new cast, and get to know them.

Comparable Movies: It's #4 in the series, so you should know if you like this type a movie or not. I like the fact that it's a slasher movie instead of the usual torture/horror movie (Saw series).

Rating: *** out of 5

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Rio

Rio
Starring the voices of Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Jemaine Clement, George Lopez, Jamie Foxx, will.i.am
Written by Don Rhymer, Joshua Sternin, Jeffrey Ventimilia, and Sam Harper
Directed by Carlos Saldanha

Story: A domesticated bird, Blu, is taken to Rio De Janeiro to screw the last female of his species.

Review: Another 3D animated movie to suck the money out of parents wallets. Rio is just meh. Who cares? You'll leave the theater and have forgotten the most of the movie by the time you start your car. There's a few funny lines, and some pretty cool animations, but nothing that you haven't seen before. I was a little weirded out by Linda's relationship with Blu. Nobody should love their pet that much. She trained him to help with breakfast, doing chores, and working around her bookshop. What else did she train him to do? And wouldn't you know, she falls for the guy that imitates birds to communicate with them. I think there's some pretty freaky shit going on in that household.

Comparable Movies: Didn't actually see either, but it seems to be a mash up of Alpha and Omega and Madagascar. There's two animals forced to mate with each other and funny monkeys.

Rating: * 1/2 out of 5

Nothing new here. I'm sure little kids will love it, but if you don't have kids just wait for the next Pixar movie to come out.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Fast Five

Fast Five
Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, The Rock
Written by Chris Morgan
Directed by Justin Lin

Story: Dominic Toretto and Brian O'Connor are fugitives from the US Government. The Rock chases them to Rio de Janeiro as they try to rob $100 million from the biggest crimelord in Rio.

Review: The action is really stepped up in Fast Five compared to the first four Fast and the Furious movies. It's not a smart action movie, but it is big. Perhaps the most ambitious action film since Live Free or Die Hard. Like Die Hard 4 though, big action doesn't make a good movie. Sure it's fun, but the stunts are so unrealistic that it's more funny than good. Same with the acting, more funny than good. Everything in between car chases and fist fights is cringe-worthy. Speaking of fight scenes, The Rock and Vin Diesel have one of the best brawls ever put on film.

Comparable Movies: This could be Bad Boys 3 if they had put Will Smith and Martin! in it. Big car chases, gun fights in ghettos, girls in itsy-bitsy bikinis, and lots of male bonding. Plus add a little Ocean's Eleven in there, too.

Rating: **** out of 5

The acting and writing deserves 1 star, but this might have the best action scenes of the entire year. Definitely worth seeing in the theater on a big screen and big sound. Don't worry if you haven't seen the first four films, because there is no storyline.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Atlas Shrugged, Part 1

Atlas Shrugged, Part 1
Starring Taylor Schilling and Grant Bowler
Written by John Aglialoro and Brian Patrick O'Toole
Directed by Paul Johansson

Story: Dagny Taggart tries to save the family business (railroad transportation) after the commies have taken over the US Government.

Review: How you rate this movie is based on your political views rather than actual quality. If your a fan Ayn Rand you'll enjoy it. If not, not so much. The heavy handed political ideals in this movie detract from a neat idea of how the future will look in 5 years. But from what I read about the source material (Ayn Rand's novel) there wasn't much chance of a nonpolitical movie. Too bad. The production quality and the cast are more suitable for a cable miniseries than a theatrical release.

Comparable Movies: Nothing comes to mind, but any movie with a political agenda is a good start.

Rating: ** out of 5

My rating is based on the production quality and the cast of characters. If your familiar with the original novel (I'm not), then you know what to expect.

Yay Capitalism!
CHUD

Movie Review: Your Highness

Your Highness


Starring Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel, Justin Theroux
Written by Danny McBride and Ben Best
Directed by David Gordon Green

Story: In a fairytale kingdom, two princes, one a dashing hero, the other a cowardly screwup must quest to win back the oldest brother's bride to be.

Review: I was unsure of what to expect going in, so I was hesitantly hopeful it would be good movie. While it has it's moments Your Highness is pretty bad. My guess is the premise sounded funnier than the results. No character stands out, and it is so crass that it could never be confused with The Princess Bride.

Comparable Movies: Take any stoner comedy and put it in medieval times.

Rating: ** out of 5

Had a few el oh el moments, but not enough to recommend to anybody.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Movie Review: Hanna

Hanna


Starring Saoirse Ronan, Eric Bana, and Cate Blanchett
Directed by Joe Wright
Written by Seth Lochhead and David Farr

Story: A man trains his daughter from birth to be an assassin.

Review: Joe Wright's previous films were The Soloist, Atonement, and Pride and Prejudice. Not exactly the pedigree for an action film. Hanna is very stylish, but the action scenes, like many movies today, are reliant on quick cuts and closeups. There are quite a few chase sequences that I was completely lost in. How did she get from there to there? How is he ahead of her now, and not behind her? Watch Die Hard and you know the layout of the entire building, but in Hanna you don't know where anything is. You just sit there and assume the bad guy will catch up and confront her. Another problem I had was how one dimensional Cate Blanchett's character was. Blanchett was great, but with a little more fleshing out of her character it could have been special. The small moments she has are more impressive than the usual summer action movie. Oh, and Eric Bana kicks ass.

Comparable Movies: Pretty easy one. The Professional mixed with some Bourne Identity.

Rating: *** 1/2 out of 5

A superior cast for this type of movie. Action scenes could have been better, but not bad. I guess you take the good (good cast because of an artistic director), with the bad (no experience with big action sequences.)

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Reviews: Insidious, The Conspirator

Insidious
Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye
Written by Leigh Whannell
Directed by James Wan

Story: A family moves into a new home, and are haunted by ghosts from a realm called The Further.

Review: Insidious is definitely creepy. It leaves you tense waiting for the next ghost around the corner to make its appearance. The director keeps a tight focus on the center, and had me looking in the corners of the frame to try to get a glimpse of what's off camera. The confrontation at the end with the big bad was a letdown, because it was so good building up to that point. I found the lesser ghosts to be much more interesting and creepy. For example, the one that is pacing on the outdoor balcony, and then shifts to pacing in the room sent shivers down my spine. Lastly, the score by Joseph Bishara was great. It gave the movie a unique quality, and was a nice throwback to classic horror movies.

Comparable Movies: Definitely Poltergeist. But I also got a little bit of a Sixth Sense type of vibe from it. There's no gore at all, and most of the scares are from not knowing what's around the next corner or inside the next door.

Rating: *** out of 5

The story was fairly unoriginal and no standout performances keep this from being a great ghost/horror movie. James Wan impressed me more with this than Saw. Hopefully his next is more like this than the latter.

The Conspirator
Starring James McAvoy, Robin Wright Penn, Tom Wilkinson, Evan Rachel Wood, Justin Long, Kevin Kline, Alexis Bledel, Danny Huston
Written by James D. Solomon
Directed by Robert Redford

Story: The military trial of Mary Surratt for the conspiracy to assassinate Abe Lincoln.

Review: To be honest I had no idea what this movie was about. I didn't know much about the assassination of Lincoln, or the making of this movie. I saw it was playing at my local theater and read a the plot description on Yahoo! It has a great cast (even more than what I listed above,) and Robert Redford is no slouch as a director. However, this movie doesn't live up to it's pedigree. It felt more like a History Channel documentary than an Oscar worthy movie. The performances were solid, the set design and costumes looked good, but I think the story just wasn't intriguing enough to make a movie out of it. I understand it's significance in history, but not everything needs to be made into a movie.

Comparable Movies: Any 17th, 18th, or 19th century trial movie. Amistad comes to mind, as well as the John Adams series on HBO. I'd recommend seeing John Adams before The Conspirator. Paul Giamatti is fantastic as John Adams.

Rating: ** 1/2 out of 5

It's worth seeing, but nothing to get excited over.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

Review: Source Code

Here we go. I'm going to try and review movies as I see them. I don't think I'll go all that in depth though. But if I recommend a movie at the end of the month it might be out of theaters by the time I post it. Here's the first of many hopefully.

The Source Code
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga, and Jeffrey Wright
Directed by Duncan Jones
Written by Ben Ripley

Story: A helicopter pilot (Gyllenhaal) is part of a secret government experiment called The Source Code. It allows a person to relive the past eight minutes of a recently deceased person. Using the Source Code the agency tries to prevent a terrorist attack on Chicago.

Review: I really liked Jones' first movie, Moon, and was really looking forward to this one. It didn't disappoint. Gyllenhaal gives an excellent performance as the helicopter pilot, Colter Stephens, and Farmiga and Wright stand out as the controllers of the Source Code. Monaghan doesn't get a whole lot to work with, but she does an admirable job with a fairly shallow character.

There's not a lot of action. I'd say it's comparable to a sci-fi movie like The Adjustment Bureau, but the explosions and special effects for the train are decent.

Comparable Movies: I'd say it's kind of a mix of small independent sci-fi movie like Primer, and Total Recall.

Rating: **** 1/2 out of 5

The first thing I wanted to do when I got out of the theater is go back and see it again. I can't give a movie a better recommendation than that. So, if you like some hard core science fiction, I'd say see it.

April Preview

Here comes April. Just one more month until the Summer Movie Season begins. LET'S GO!

April 1st
Insidious - The producer of Paranormal Activity and the director of Saw make a Poltergeist-like horror movie. Don't let the PG-13 rating dissuade you, this could be good.

The Source Code - I liked Duncan Jones' first movie, Moon. This looks kinda like a Philip K Dick type of story, but I have my doubts. Hope it turns out good, but not expecting it to.

Super - Rainn Wilson plays a super hero with no super powers. Sounds like I've seen this one before. It is directed by James Gunn, so I'm interested. Check out his PG Porn shorts. http://www.spike.com/shows/james-gunns-pg-porn

Cat Run - Don't know too much about this one, but the trailer looks okay. Seems similar to Lucky Number Slevin.

Trust - I like Clive Owen and Catherine Keener, but this looks like a movie I'll see once and never think about it again. Directed by Friends alum, David Schwimmer.

Rubber - Can't see this in the theater, but thought I'd mention it. Here's the trailer. http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/rubber/


April 8th
Your Highness - I like the cast and director, but this seems like a movie that sounds better being pitched than it what it turns out to be.

Hanna - The movie I've been looking forward to more than any this month. One of my favorite movies of all time is The Professional, and this looks like a sequel to that.

Soul Surfer - The movie I've been looking forward to less than any this month. One of my most hated movies of all time is The Blind Side, and this looks like a sequel to that.

Arthur - I couldn't make it through the original, so I'm not too pumped about seeing the remake.

April 15th
Scream 4 - I like the first one, thought the second was okay, and didn't see the third. I'll try to watch that before going to number four.

Rio - Another 3D animated movie. Yawn.

April 22nd
Water For Elephants - Robert Pattinson is so dreamy. I think I'll catch an early matinee with all the stay at home moms.

April 29th
Fast Five - Like Scream 4 I haven't seen all the movies in this series, so I'll have to play catch up again.

Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil - Haven't seen the original.


There's no chance in hell I'm going to see Disney's Prom or Madea's Big Happy Family. I'd rather lose a testicle.

I'm going to try to do something different this month and review each movie shortly after I see it. I figure the movies at the beginning of the month won't be in theaters by the time I do my monthly wrapup. And I know that you all base your movie watching habits by reading this blog.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

March Movie Reviews

All right, saw 11 movies in March, and I'm back on track for 100 movies. Here we go. (All * are out of 5.)

Drive Angry 3D - * - Can't recommend this movie to anybody. The storyline is dumb, the acting is bad, and there's not a lot of action. You'd think a movie called Drive Angry would have a couple good car chases. The 3D was above average though.

Rango - ** - It seems like the first trailer for Rango came out over a year ago. In all that time you would think that Gore Verbinski was making the movie better, but apparently he was counting the money he was making from Pirates of the Caribbean. It wasn't a bad picture, but with the big names and director I was hoping for more.

The Adjustment Bureau - **** - After I first read that this movie was being made I got excited for it. I like Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, and it's based on a Philip K. Dick short story. The leads have great chemistry and are very likable and the story never slows down. It keeps you entertained the whole way through. It's also nice to see a sci-fi movie without a set up for a sequel.

Take Me Home Tonight - * 1/2 - The only thing eighties in this movie was the music. Outside of that there's no reason to have this movie set in that time period. Dan Fogler was the one shining light in a cliched, formulaic romantic comedy.

Mars Needs Moms - ** 1/2 - Another movie from Robert Zemeckis using his motion capture technology he used on Beowulf, A Christmas Carol, and The Polar Express. Visually it's very impressive, but a little weak on the storyline. At one point I was hoping to see a little flashback to Total Recall (you'll know what I'm talking about if you see it). And the interspecies relationship was really awkward and creepy.

Battle Los Angeles - *** - The first hour is really entertaining and action packed. Then the second hour drags on with speech after speech. Think Bill Pullman in ID4. We might see Battle Miami, Battle New York: SVU, and Battle London before too long.

Red Riding Hood - 0 - Not one redeeming quality to this movie. Poor casting, poor writing, poor directing. Even the set design and costumes were terrible. I'm talking sci-fi original movie quality, without the low budget charm. No idea how Twilight could be worse than this, but I'm sure it is.

The Lincoln Lawyer - *** - A good legal drama. McConaughey is actually pretty good, as well as the rest of an above average cast including William H Macy and Marisa Tomei. You could really tell it was based on novel though. I could almost see the beginnings and ends to chapters. Also, this is how I think Ryan Phillipe is in real life. Not a lot of acting here.

Limitless - *** - A great idea, but not much done with it. What would you do if you had a pill that made you the best version of yourself? Apparently you borrow money from a loan shark and don't pay him back right away. That's the big dilemma in the movie. He makes 1.2 million dollars in 4 days, but neglects to pay off the loan right away. WTF. The plot line with Robert De Niro is much more interesting, but doesn't have any real payoff. If it had stolen a little bit from Darren Aronofsky's Pi, and had corporate headhunters trying to find his secret and steal his pills it would have been much better. Instead, we have a Russian loan shark as the main bad guy.

Paul - *** 1/2 - I love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. There's not a better comic duo working right now. But I think Edgar Wright knows how to use their talents better than Greg Mottola. Not that Paul isn't funny or good, but I could see the similarities in the writing and acting as in Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. The thing missing was the director. I believe if this had been directed by Edgar Wright that it would have been just as good as their first two pictures. Instead we get a good comedy, but not great.

Sucker Punch - **1/2 - Scantily clad girls, robots, zombies, WWII, steampunk, and orcs. What's not to like. Zack Snyder has a unique visual style, but goes overboard with it here. It's an amazing looking film, but there's just so much being crammed in that you never really get a chance to warm up to the characters. Hopefully he tones it down a little for the new Superman.

I'm down to 74 movies to go after 3 months. Hopefully the quality starts to pick up as we get closer to the summer months, because this is starting to become a bit of a grind. Anyhoo, I say check out The Adjustment Bureau, and leave the rest.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

March Preview

Hello everyone,

We're finally through the dark days of January and February @ the movies. Brighter days are ahead. I'm kind of excited to see quite a few movies this month. There's at least one movie every week that looks interesting.

March 4th
Rango - Directed by Gore Verbinski, Starring Johnny Depp - I think they did all right with this combo for Pirates of the Caribbean.

The Adjustment Bureau - A lot of people don't like Matt Damon, but I think he's an underrated actor. I think it comes from winning the Oscar for Good Will Hunting. Anyway, I'll go see anything based on a Philip K Dick novel.

Take Me Home Tonight - Maybe another Wedding Singer, but probably not.

March 11th
Battle: Los Angeles - Is it really a surprise that I'm looking forward to this?

Jane Eyre, Red Riding Hood - Don't know much about these movies, but the trailers didn't look all that bad. And what's the point of going to all these movies unless I go see movies I otherwise would not see.

Mars Needs Moms - 3D animated movie. Might see it, might not.

March 18th
Limitless - Bradley Cooper is incredibly popular right now. Don't really see why, but I'll give this one a chance.

Paul - I'll see anything with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost together.

Lincoln Lawyer - Should be fun to watch Matthew McConaughey try to act.

Win Win - Paul Giamatti with the director of The Visitor and The Station Agent. Limited release, so I don't know if I'll be able to see this one.

March 25th
Sucker Punch - I like Zack Snyder and this movie looks crazy. Could be great, or it could be the worst movie ever.

Not a bad March lineup. I'm really looking forward to Adjustment Bureau, Battle: Los Angeles, and Paul. Hopefully they don't disappoint. Until next time.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

February Movie Reviews

Saw a lot of movies this month, and am back on track to see 100 movies. Here's what I saw. (Ratings are out of 5 stars.)

Sanctum 3D -  * 1/2 - Some of the 3D elements were neat, but 3D doesn't work as well with dark shots. Higher body count than I expected, but nothing too surprising or unexpected here.

The Roommate - * - If you like hot college coeds, this movie offers lots of them. If you like a good story or good acting, this movie has none of it.

Just Go With It - * 1/2- Adam Sandler movies usually have some amusing and el oh el parts, but Just Go With It is pretty boring and forgettable.

The Eagle - **1/2 - Could have been worse. It's worth seeing once, but that's it. Some good battle scenes, and Channing Tatum is as bad as he usually is.

Cedar Rapids - ***1/2 - John C Reilly is hilarious, and Ed Helms is good in spots. As a comedy it is a good movie, but it seems to want to make you depressed in some scenes.

I Am Number 4 - *1/2 - I think they were hoping this would be another Twilight like franchise. Thank god it flopped and I won't have to see any sequels. Special effects were a bit better than I was expecting. Sad to see Timothy Olyphant slumming in this.

Unknown - *** - Wasn't a sequel to Taken like I was expecting. Seemed more a like a ripoff of Frantic starring Harrison Ford. Still, a good action movie, and watching Liam Neeson kick ass is worth the price of admission.

Drive Angry 3D - * - Nicolas Cage is the biggest badass in hell, and quite the ladies' man. Doesn't sound plausible does it? And you would think with that title they would have a good car chase or two? Nope.

Hall Pass - *** - I was delighted when this movie turned out to be good. The Farrelly Bros. have finally made something funny again. Way to go! Not all the jokes worked, but enough were funny to make this their best movie since Shallow Hal. Oh, and the only thing more ridiculous than Nicky Whelan hooking up with Owen Wilson, is Brooklyn Decker hooking up with Adam Sandler.

9 movies. I'd recommend Cedar Rapids and Hall Pass. If you like period action films, The Eagle was better than expected. March looks like it could be a good month, and I'll have my preview post up tomorrow or the next day.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

Reaction to the Academy Awards

I didn't watch the Academy Awards (had to work), but I figured I'd throw in my two and a half cents.

Best Picture - The King's Speech
If you read my top ten for the year you can probably guess I don't agree with the Academy on this one. It's an Oscar bait movie. Five years from now nobody will watch or remember this movie. Who still watches Cold Mountain, The Hours, Crash, or any other boring, snobbish Oscar bait movie? No one. I don't dislike any of these movies, but this award should represent the very best of the year. I know every year there's not going to be a generation defining film, but I would say The Social Network, Inception, or Black Swan are more likely to be that film than The King's Speech.


My pick: True Grit - Best western since Unforgiven, and maybe even better than that.


Best Director - Tom Hooper, The King's Speech
I hope I don't come off as a basher of The King's Speech, because I did like it quite a bit. But everything in this movie I've seen before. Sure, he got good performances out of Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush, but that's not that great of a feat. If he had made it with Hugh Grant and Mel Gibson, than I'd be really impressed.


My pick: Christopher Nolan, Inception - Didn't get nominated, but should have won anyway. Inception was the most ambitious and risky big budget film in years.

Best Actor - Colin Firth, The King's Speech
I would have been happy with James Franco, Jesse Eisenberg, or Jeff Bridges. I'm not going to go on about The King's Speech anymore.

My pick: Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network - I love Jesse Eisenberg. He's one of my favorite actors of all time, so you could say I'm a little biased. He really should have been nominated for Adventureland last year, but Social Network was a tad more successful. I really hope he tries something new for his next role, otherwise he could go down in flames as the typecast awkward geek.

Best Actress - Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Why couldn't she have given a performance like this in Star Wars? When she is motivated and is working with a director she likes, she is great. If she gave this kind of effort for every movie she did, then she could be one of the best actresses of all time. But she likes to mail it in and get paid too often.

My pick: Natalie Portman

Best Supporting Actor - Christian Bale, The Fighter
He's obviously very professional, and I can't really argue with this pick. He was great, but not what I would have picked.

My pick: Matt Damon, True Grit - Another non nominee. I thought he was good the first time I watched it, and was fantastic on the second viewing. Watch it again.

Best Supporting Actress - Melissa Leo, The Fighter
I didn't remember being all that impressed with her performance. Not that memorable.

My pick: Chloe Moretz, Kick-Ass - I would have picked Hailee Steinfeld, but she wasn't a supporting actress, she was the lead. Chloe Moretz was awesome as Hit Girl, and really made the movie as good as it was.

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I'll be back tomorrow with my February movie reviews

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

Top Five Worst Movies of 2010

Hi everybody,

The top ten best are out of the way, so now let’s look at the worst.

5. The Tourist

Written and Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Julian Fellowes

Starring Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie

An international spy thriller that isn’t thrilling. The biggest action sequence was a boat chase through Venice at speeds up to ten kilometers per hour. It’s so fucking boring. Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie sleepwalk through the script, and it’s unbelievably predictable.

4. The Warrior’s Way

Written and Directed by Sngmoo Lee

Starring Dong-gun Jang, Kate Bosworth, Geoffrey Rush

If you have main character that only has five or six lines in the movie, than you need a good supporting cast to play off of. Kate Bosworth is nice to look at, but can’t act. Geoffrey Rush obviously didn’t give a shit. And nobody else stood out. The action sequences were dependent on the CGI looking good. But the CGI was the quality of an episode of Smallville, maybe worse. If you want a good martial arts and western mash-up, watch The Good, The Bad, and The Weird. Much better.

3. Predators

Directed by Nimrod Antal

Written by Alex Litvak, Michael Finch

Starring Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Laurence Fishburne, Alice Braga, Danny Trejo

I wish they would stop making sequels to Predator. (That includes the Alien vs. Predator franchise, too.) It was one of the best action movies of all time. It wasn’t because the predator was so cool, it was because Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, and Jesse Ventura kicked ass. When you replace them with skinny little guys like Adrien Brody and Topher Grace you lose something. Jean Claude Van Damme was supposed to play the Predator in the original, but he didn’t look big enough to even get in the ring with Arnold. I don’t need Academy Award winning actors for my action movies. I need a guy that I wouldn’t fuck with if I some him on the street. When Adrien Brody disrobes and cakes himself in mud it was the saddest thing ever. Compare that to Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger. I won’t even get into all the plot holes and timeline problems with the movie. Go watch the original again, and watch true action heroes kick ass.

2. The Karate Kid

Directed by Harald Zwart

Written by Christopher Murphey

Starring Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith, Taraji P. Henson

I’m not going to put this at #1, because I loved watching Jackie Chan beat the shit out of a bunch in twelve year olds. Just because he didn’t hit them with a fist, doesn’t mean he didn’t attack them. Using little kids and shit lying around as projectiles to hit them is still frowned upon. At least Johnny and his buddies were seniors in high school.

It’s hard to say a little kid is a bad actor, but Jaden Smith is not a good actor. It’s kung fu, not karate. It’s over two hours long. Who gets transferred from Detroit to Hong Kong? I’ll stick with the original.

1. The Last Airbender

Written and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Starring Who Cares

M. Night Shyamalan shouldn’t be able to hold anything that can record images, audio or video. I’ll feel bad for the fans of the show. This has to taint it a little bit. Acting was awful, the dialogue was awful, special effects were awful, and this might have single handedly killed 3D for me. They should have cast Jackie Chan in this so he could beat the crap out of the little kid.

Did they change the dialogue for the UK? Because they refer to all the magic people as Benders (derogatory term for homosexuals in the UK).

Honorable Mentions

Robin Hood – Can’t believe I like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves more than anything, but it was better.

Alice In Wonderland – Fell asleep during it. Didn’t feel like going back to rewatch it. Shite.

Book of Eli – I actually thought this would be good. I was wrong.

Save yourself some time. Do NOT watch these horrible, awful, no good, very bad movies.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD