Top Five Worst Movies of 2010

Hi everybody,

The top ten best are out of the way, so now let’s look at the worst.

5. The Tourist

Written and Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Julian Fellowes

Starring Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie

An international spy thriller that isn’t thrilling. The biggest action sequence was a boat chase through Venice at speeds up to ten kilometers per hour. It’s so fucking boring. Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie sleepwalk through the script, and it’s unbelievably predictable.

4. The Warrior’s Way

Written and Directed by Sngmoo Lee

Starring Dong-gun Jang, Kate Bosworth, Geoffrey Rush

If you have main character that only has five or six lines in the movie, than you need a good supporting cast to play off of. Kate Bosworth is nice to look at, but can’t act. Geoffrey Rush obviously didn’t give a shit. And nobody else stood out. The action sequences were dependent on the CGI looking good. But the CGI was the quality of an episode of Smallville, maybe worse. If you want a good martial arts and western mash-up, watch The Good, The Bad, and The Weird. Much better.

3. Predators

Directed by Nimrod Antal

Written by Alex Litvak, Michael Finch

Starring Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Laurence Fishburne, Alice Braga, Danny Trejo

I wish they would stop making sequels to Predator. (That includes the Alien vs. Predator franchise, too.) It was one of the best action movies of all time. It wasn’t because the predator was so cool, it was because Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, and Jesse Ventura kicked ass. When you replace them with skinny little guys like Adrien Brody and Topher Grace you lose something. Jean Claude Van Damme was supposed to play the Predator in the original, but he didn’t look big enough to even get in the ring with Arnold. I don’t need Academy Award winning actors for my action movies. I need a guy that I wouldn’t fuck with if I some him on the street. When Adrien Brody disrobes and cakes himself in mud it was the saddest thing ever. Compare that to Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger. I won’t even get into all the plot holes and timeline problems with the movie. Go watch the original again, and watch true action heroes kick ass.

2. The Karate Kid

Directed by Harald Zwart

Written by Christopher Murphey

Starring Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith, Taraji P. Henson

I’m not going to put this at #1, because I loved watching Jackie Chan beat the shit out of a bunch in twelve year olds. Just because he didn’t hit them with a fist, doesn’t mean he didn’t attack them. Using little kids and shit lying around as projectiles to hit them is still frowned upon. At least Johnny and his buddies were seniors in high school.

It’s hard to say a little kid is a bad actor, but Jaden Smith is not a good actor. It’s kung fu, not karate. It’s over two hours long. Who gets transferred from Detroit to Hong Kong? I’ll stick with the original.

1. The Last Airbender

Written and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Starring Who Cares

M. Night Shyamalan shouldn’t be able to hold anything that can record images, audio or video. I’ll feel bad for the fans of the show. This has to taint it a little bit. Acting was awful, the dialogue was awful, special effects were awful, and this might have single handedly killed 3D for me. They should have cast Jackie Chan in this so he could beat the crap out of the little kid.

Did they change the dialogue for the UK? Because they refer to all the magic people as Benders (derogatory term for homosexuals in the UK).

Honorable Mentions

Robin Hood – Can’t believe I like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves more than anything, but it was better.

Alice In Wonderland – Fell asleep during it. Didn’t feel like going back to rewatch it. Shite.

Book of Eli – I actually thought this would be good. I was wrong.

Save yourself some time. Do NOT watch these horrible, awful, no good, very bad movies.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

Top Ten Movies of 2010

Hi boys and girls,

I finally watched all the movies I needed to finish my top ten list. Here goes nothing.

10. She’s Out of My League

Directed by Jim Field Smith

Written by Sean Anders, John Morris

Starring Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, and TJ Miller

Pretty standard rom-com. The leads play their parts well, and keep the movie moving along. But the supporting cast is hilarious. TJ Miller, Mike Vogel, and Nate Torrence as Kirk’s best friends are the best group of movie friends since The 40 Year Old Virgin. Kirk’s family also puts this movie a notch above the rest. Not really a top ten movie, but nothing else really jumped out at me, and I’ve only watched a handful of movies more than this one, this year.

9. Inception

Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Ellen Page, Cillian Murphy, Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Pete Postlethwaite, Michael Caine

Christopher Nolan is the best big budget director working today. He hasn’t really made a bad movie yet, and has hit two out of the park with The Dark Knight and Inception. He’s to the point now where his name alone will make $100 million. I remember the first trailer showing the city folding in on itself and I was sold. Fantastic action sequences, great director, and a big name cast made for a lot of hype, and it lived up to it.

8. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Written and Directed by Edgar Wright

Written by Michael Bacall

Starring Michael Cera, Kieran Culkin, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Edgar Wright’s first movie without Simon Pegg and Nick Frost was a step back for him, but did show he wasn’t relying only on his stars to make a great movie. There are a ridiculous amount of references to video games, comics, and sci-fi movies that becomes a little overwhelming at times. I can see why people didn’t like it. It was made for a very small niche of comic book fans, and was relying on Michael Cera’s name for an audience. He’s a one trick pony, and his career is definitely on the downward track, but thought he was a good fit for the character. Ellen Wong as Pilgrim’s teenage girlfriend, and Kieran Culkin as his gay roommate are great. Brandon Routh and Chris Pine are the best of the evil exes.

7. How to Train Your Dragon

Written and Directed by Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders

Written by William Davies

Starring the voices of Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, America Ferrera

I’ve never enjoyed the Toy Story movies that much. They’re good, but Pixar’s other properties are much better in my opinion. I know everyone is picking Toy Story 3 as the best animated movie of the year, but the other nominee is my pick. How to Train Your Dragon is a fun, fantasy movie. Sci-fi fantasy fare oftentimes takes itself far too seriously, and when a more lighthearted story comes it is refreshing. I didn’t see this in the theater, because of the horrible commercials and ads during the Olympics, but I’m glad I gave it a second chance on video.

6. 127 Hours

Written and Directed by Danny Boyle

Written by Simon Beaufoy

Starring James Franco

I’m a sucker for anything by Danny Boyle. I even liked The Beach and Sunshine. After the giant cast and production of Slumdog Millionaire, he makes a movie with pretty much one character. He’s always switching it up, and doing things in different genres that makes him fun to watch. Check him out on IMDB. He’s done comedy, horror, science fiction, drama, family, and suspense. He gets a great performance out of James Franco, and makes a unique look for the movie.

5. Exit Through The Gift Shop

Directed by Banksy

I admit that I don’t watch too many documentaries, but I’ve seen my fair share. One of the most entertaining documentaries I’ve ever seen. It’s hard to explain what it’s about without ruining it, so just watch it. It’s on Netflix streaming.

4. The Social Network

Directed by David Fincher

Written by Aaron Sorkin

Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, and Justin Timberlake

This could have been one of the biggest bombs of the year. David Fincher managed to make an entertaining movie about an unlikable protagonist designing a website. I remember watching this the first time and starting to hate it right from the start. The dialogue sounded like something out of Juno, and I wasn’t interested in hearing a bunch of rich kids whine. But then Rooney Mara has one of the best lines in any movie from this year. From that point on I loved it. Jesse Eisenberg gives a great performance, and Trent Reznor’s score is amazing.

3. Black Swan

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

Written by Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz, John J. McLaughlin

Starring Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Vincent Cassel, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder

Wow! Natalie Portmananime by Satoshi Kon.

2. True Grit

Written and Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen

Starring Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon

The best western since Unforgiven, and one of the Coen’s best films. Jeff Bridges is excellent, as usual, Matt Damon is hilarious as the Texas Marshall, Leboeuf, and Hailee Steinfeld carries the movie. She is nominated for best supporting actress, but she is in nearly every scene. I love how every character, no matter how minor, has a story behind them. The kind of depth with supporting and secondary characters hasn’t been accomplished since Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York.

1. The Other Guys

Written and Directed by Adam McKay

Written by Chris Henchy

Starring Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg

The best comedic team in Hollywood is Adam McKay and Will Ferrell. You expect them to start getting a little old, but they keep cranking out gems. McKay seems to know how to get Ferrell to walk that line of absurd and over the top without crossing it. Even Mark Wahlberg is funny. Dramas always get all the love from the awards givers, but the movies I enjoy and rewatch the most are comedies, and nobody does it better than these guys.

Some honorable mentions:

The Ghost Writer – An excellent mystery film starring Ewan McGregor. A lot like The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo.

Kick-Ass – A fun over the top comic book movie. Hit Girl kicks ass.

Never Let Me Go – Life is short, and it sucks.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I – Expecto Patronum

The King’s Speech – Really good. Very British.

That’s it. Now I’m off to bed.

May the Force be with you,

CHUD

February @ the Movies

Hi all,

Here's what I'm seeing in February.

Sanctum - My friend Tom said it best on our podcast (www.pgpfilmcast.com), "It looks like a Omni movie that's getting a wide release."

The Roommate - Hopefully there's a lot of college girls hanging out in their underwear together.

Just Go With It - Adam Sandler should take a break from making movies.

Gnomeo and Juliet - Another 3D animated movie. I was surprised by How To Train Your Dragon last year, so there is a little hope.

Cedar Rapids - I have high hopes for this comedy. Hopefully it is released in Minnesota.

The Eagle - A Gladiator wannabe. Channing Tatum is not Russell Crowe.

I Am Number Four - Looks pretty bad, but I love sci-fi movies.

Unknown - It looks like a sequel to Taken

Drive Angry 3D - Looks so bad it could be entertaining.

Hall Pass - Maybe the Farrelly Brothers can get back on track.


I should be able to get back on pace for the 100 movie goal after this month, but not a lot to like again.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD

January Movie Reviews

Hello everyone,

I didn't see as many movies as I was hoping to last month. But, honestly, would you be excited about going to the movies when this is what the studios are offering?

Onto the movies. (I'll give each a rating out of 5 stars)

Season of the Witch - * - I'm sure if you saw the preview you could guess this was bad. It did have a very nice opening battle montage that was completely ripped off from Kurt Russell's Soldier.

The King's Speech - **** - Great story, good acting, but 12 nominations? Good movie, but not that good.

The Dilemma - ** - It's not a good sign when Channing Tatum is the funniest person in the movie. It was way more serious than I was expecting, and Vince Vaughn and Kevin James are not dramatic actors.

The Green Hornet - **1/2 - Seth Rogen and Jay Chou were good onscreen together, and had a very natural chemistry between their characters. However, the stunts were ridiculous (even for a superhero movie), and Christoph Waltz was even more ridiculous.

The Mechanic - ***1/2 - Another solid action movie from Jason Statham. It could have been great if the ending would have been tweaked a little bit. Hopefully they don't go over the top like they did with The Transporter and Crank sequels.

No Strings Attached - 0 - Shit sandwich.

The Rite - **1/2 - Anthony Hopkins kind of mailed it in, but it's still Anthony Hopkins.

That's it for January at the movies. No surprises here. The one's I thought would be bad were bad (Season of the Witch, No Strings Attached), but I did like the Green Hornet was a little bit better than expected. It didn't get the highest rating, but I'd recommend The Mechanic for the best of the month. The King's Speech was really good, but I don't think I'll watch it again any time soon.

May the Force be with you,
CHUD